I shouted at a taxi

Today I rode to Soho,
I rode past Marble Arch
I rode there very early
Returning before lunch
But this is bloody London
And traffic here is hell
And cycling is quite stupid
If your bike has no bell.

However, I’ve one better
A bloody great big horn
And sod you bloody taxi
I’m not yesterday born

When I rode back through traffic
I took my normal care
But that bloody taxi drove
As if I wasn’t there

Behind a bus I cycled
It should have been ok
But then this bloody taxi
Ruined my bloody day

As he came sweeping past me
And nearly took me out
He brushed my bloody shoulder
And gave me quite a clout

I may be a tough bugger
But it hurts quite a bit
When a bloody taxi
Knocks you @rse over t!t

With traffic hardly moving
He couldn’t just drive off
And st!t me did I shout at him
“Tw@t c#nthead, you f#ck off!”

My @rse is bruised and ego
Is spitting bloody teeth,
The stupid bloody taxi
Nearly gave me a wreath

The total f#cking tosser
Managed to get away
Whilst I’ve to buy a new bike
To ride another day.

However, I am grateful
I’m still here after all
(I hope the bloody taxi
Drives through a bloody wall.)

It’s actually not a bad day
It was only a car,
I can tell you, a lorry
Now that’s the full cigar!


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