Practice Jokes from the New York Times October 4, 2012
Last night, Mitt Romney reopened the race for the White House by wrong footing President Obama. Because, like a true American, Obama never expected his enemy to be prepared…
During the debate, Romney styled himself as a moderate. Quite a feat for someone for whom even underpants hold religious symbolism.
Polls suggest that twice as many voters believe Romney won the debate. Luckily the debate was held in Colorado, as in southern states, this would be considered enough for a lynching.
President Obama and his team woke up this morning to the realization that he lost his first debate. Questions are being asked as to why he didn’t wake up before the debate started.
David Axelrod, the president’s strategist, called Mr. Romney an “artful dodger”, a strange analogy as the artful dodger was a Dickensian character who was a universally loved, poverty stricken street urchin controlled by Jews.
Under fire from fellow Democrats, Mr. Obama came out swinging, accusing Mr. Romney of lying to the American people about his plans for the nation. Because that is not what politicians do!
Mr. Obama made a robust speech to 12,000 supporters during a lakeside rally this morning, 7000 more that Jesus fed at Galillee. Sadly, it was still 58 million fewer than watched him lose the debate last night.
Aides described Mr. Obama as out of practice at debating – the first rule of which is to point out when the person you are debating against is lying.
Ryan Williams, a Romney spokesman. “Rather than a plan to fix our economy, President Obama simply offered more false attacks and renewed his call for job-killing tax hikes.” Amazingly, the Democrats heard the same words as the Rublicans but completely missed that part of the message.
In the debate, Mr. Romney promising that his reform of Medicare would not touch benefits for older Americans, a softening of his rhetoric due to his recent realisation that many people in the country don’t hate their grandparents.