Tag Archives: Solo Performance

A rant about the iPhone, edited down

The shortened versions of the iPhone rant I rewrote for my Solo Performance class.

Evolution. The full length version of the rants below is in a post further down the blog. I cut that down and changed the tone of it, and it became the bottom iteration on this page. I then tried to cut it again and again changed the tone. It became a different piece, but was still 3 minutes, so that is the middle piece.

Finally, the top piece here is what this has evolved into. Lots of the jokes cut out, this is the “essence” of what I was driving at I suppose. I hope it is the funniest and clearest rant of the 4 (although, I have dropped many jokes that I like – slaughtering one’s babies!). This has been a good exercise in working out what I am talking about, about honing and evolving my work, and basic editing.

Each version has a slightly different game. The very first game was Machines the Work vs Machines that Don’t. In the final version, immediately beneath here, the game is Manliness.

Manliness and The iPhone

Banging rocks together is manly, and a rock is a manly tool. Most modern man tools don’t survive it but, when one of them is my iPhone, I feel like doing just that; then reinventing fire just to throw the bastard device onto it, and then, reinventing the spear, just to poke the fucker.
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Why I hate my iPhone

A rant monologue I wrote for my Solo Performance class. I will eventually cut this down, extract its essence and perform this, below is my first iteration.

The iPhone is a terrible device

image Back in the day, you could attach a piece of wire to another piece of wire and tap. That tap would instantly disappear down said wire, and someone at the other end would pick up your message. Now, even to me, that was primitive. A little better than banging rocks together and probably about as much fun. Although I like banging rocks together, as a man it makes me feel complete. Most modern rocks I own don’t survive a good banging together, although when one of them is my iPhone, I regularly feel like doing that and then reinventing fire just to throw the bastard device onto it.

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Solo Performance with Michael Lehrer, 25 August

This is yet another of the classes I am taking at iO, at the end of which we will have a class show of our work.

Mike is a man who likes his pedal bikes, and taught much of the class from a chrome handled, low riding, chopper style bike that he’d brought into the classroom. When we see it this week, he has told us it will have been repainted by a graffiti artist friend of his, a piece of art to look forward to seeing.

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